This one time, on a tram...

...my buddy Honza and I are heading to a pub to watch a football match. (yes, I say 'pub' and not 'bar', 'football' not 'soccer'... but a truck will never be a lorry, damnit, and they are pants not trousers, and favor and color will never have a u) We end up in the seats closest to the front door.
I'll pause our story to share this about Prague public transportation etiquette. If you are sitting down, and some person gets on (typically a senior citizen), and has trouble getting up the stairs due to a physical disability or general feebleness, you immediately offer your seat. Doesn't matter if you're the dude with a mohawk, eight earrings and a skull tattoo on your right cheek, you give your seat up. And if you're in the seats closest to a door, chances are you're sitting down for only one or two stops, unless it's 1AM on a Wednesday.
Now, back to our story. I see an older woman having trouble getting up the stairs. I get up, being the wonderful gentleman that I am, and offer her my seat. She is incredibly grateful (well, I think that's what her Czech rambling was trying to convey) and she sits down. After 30 seconds or so, she continues to talk to us (though we are not paying any attention), and then she reahes in her bag and pulls out a one-liter plastic water bottle. It was empty, save about an inch or so of clear, but back-washed, seemingly alcoholic beverage. She takes a sip, and then offers us some.
We politely decline, in Czech, but the lady persists. We continue to decline.
(All in Czech) "Have some."
"No, thanks."
"Have some."
"No."
"Have some."
Then, thinking that we were declining solely because it was only backwash in the bottle, she pulls out a fresh bottle, filled to the brim with this stuff, takes off the seal, and continues.
"Have some."
Now converting to English, "Thank you, but no."
"Have some."
"I really appreciate the sentiment, but no thank you."
"Have some."
"What part of 'no' don't you get?"
"Have some."
Then I noticed this woman had no teeth, and no hair (she was wearing a bandana). Ready to start laughing, I turn away from this scene. Unfortunately for Honza, he was still sitting down, facing the woman. She continues to pester him. Though Honza is Czech, he is fluent in English, and played the "I'm a foreigner so I don't speak any Czech card" pretty well. He later translated what she was saying, beyond "have some." Apparently, I was referred to as "cutie", and he was "precious."
Unhappy with my turning away, the bald woman turned to Honza and was trying to get him to take a drink. Her hand glanced his inner thigh once or twice in the process, as she was spilling this mysterious beverage.
Luckily, our stop had arrived. We get up to leave, grateful to be out of the situation, and she reaches over and pinches Honza's butt.

And so ends a Tuesday night in Prague.