Quiz time

Currently on vacation in Belgium, I pose this question (more details and pictures of my vacay to come). What's the bigger faux pas - drinking beer out of a glass which bears the emblem of a beer other than that which you are drinking, or drinking beer directly out of the bottle?
If you answered a) drinking beer out of a glass which bears the emblem of a beer other than that which you are drinking, you are wrong. Places like Belgium, for example, which have literally hundreds of beers, it's pretty tough to find a glass with the emblem of them all. But, as witnessed just minutes ago by the owner of the hostel I am staying in for the night as I took a swig of the last bit of beer in a bottle, it is horribly wrong to drink beer - no matter the circumstances - directly out of the bottle. I apologized profusely, and he made me swear it was the only time I had ever committed such an atrocity.
Keep this in mind the next time you order a bottled beer, or *gasp* pour the end of one beer into the start of the next.

Ahoj. Ciao. Cau. Bonsoir. Dobry neve. Later.

CHappy CHolidays

For the last couple years, my friends have encouraged me to host a Channukah party, in response to the endless series of Christmas-themed parties (and also, the fact that I was the "token Jew" in the group). Last year, after the holiday season had ended, I agreed, and decided that I would host a Hannukah party the next time it came around. Granted, when I made that decision, I had no idea I'd be on another continent the next time Hanukkah came around, but nonetheless, the decision had been made, so my mind was set on it.
Last night I had some friends over for latkes, dreidels, and general light festivity. When invited, my friend Zeke wanted my assurance that my shiksa roommate would not be involved at all in the making of the latkes. I guaranteed him that I would be the only one making them, which comforted him, because he assumed that I was an old pro at the making of the latkes, given my Hebrew-ness. Little did he know I had never made them, let alone seen them made, though I had eaten them dozens of times. I did reveal this fact to him, after he had eaten some and given his approval.
A special thanks to my Aunt Sandee for sharing her latkes-making secrets.

Seeing as how Channuka is the Festival of Lights, a menorah was required. But in this mainly-athiest country, menorahs are pretty hard to find, even in the Jewish quarter. Improvisation was necessary. Here's what I put together:

For my Jewish brethren out there wondering where the Shamas candle is, it is the Pilsner. Pilsner is clearly the best beer when lined up next to Staropramen and Gambrinus, and its green bottle and gold foil neck really set it apart from the rest. For the non-believers out there, this page explains it all.

After latkes and candles, how could a Hanukkah celebration be complete without some dreidel spinning? Fortunately, a recent visit by Heather's mom provided us with some chocolate chips, which were absolutely perfect for the occasion.

As it so frequently does, the game dissolved into a "I can't stand to play dreidel any longer with these chocolate chips and not eat them" gorging of the bag.

We did get some snow yesterday, which provided us with what everyone's dream is, a white Channukkah.


A side story related to the making of the latkes. The recipe that was so generously shared with me required Matzoh Meal. Now, given the lack of menorahs for sale in this city, finding Matzoh Meal, I'm sure you can imagine, is a near impossibility. However, I had walked past a Halal food store a block or two from my flat many times, so I figured going in there was worth a shot. While they did not have the Matzoh Meal, they did, in fact, have matzoh. And since Matzoh Meal is nothing but ground matzoh (think breadcrumbs), I was in business.
While perusing the aisles of the store, I overheard the proprieters speaking in a language that was most definitely not Czech, but it still had the same obscurely familiar tone. Then I realized it was Arabic. Reaching back into the dark corners of my memory, I remembered the Arabic words for good-bye. In my life, I never thought I'd use Czech and Arabic at all, let alone in the same sentence. But there I was, saying "Dekuje! Ma salaam!", a Czech thank you and an Arabic good bye. After buying Matzah. In Prague. Got quite a smile from the store owner as he replied "ma salaam." Truly a unique experience.

So here's hoping you get a harmonica, have so much funnicah, wear your yammika, and have a happy Chanuka.

(Mis-)Pronunciation

It's one thing to make fun of people who talk like deez. But to teach them can sometimes be a herculean challenge. For example...

Teaching a student who works in electronics the other day, we came across the word "beg" in a text. After defining "beg," I was asked how "beg" differs from "bag" in pronunciation. The answer is clear to me, as I'm sure it is to any native English speaker. But my student could not hear the difference. I repeated the words, slowly, over-emphasizing the different vowel sounds. He tried to mimic what I said back to me, but the two words he said sounded exactly the same as each other. I started laughing because of how much he was contorting his face to make each sound.
To complicate matters, "bag", when pronounced by the Brits, sounds more like "bog". Which is cool, except "bog" and "bug" sounded the same to this student as well. Again, repeating the words slowly, over-emphasizing the vowel sounds, produced absolutely no understanding. He eventually said, "Fine, I'm just going to use 'bag' and 'bug'." (since both "bog" and "beg" were new to him)

Similarly, the next day, the problems discerning "robber" from "rubber" were made apparent to me. Also, as a side note, just as "not real grass" turned out to be clay, "big wheel of air" turned out to be a raft.

In yet another class, we were talking about things that turn us off from people we date. And the word "hygiene" came up. "What's hygiene?" everyone asked. When I wrote it on the board, they said... "Ohhh! You mean HEE-GI-EH-NEH." (where the "g" is a hard "g" - like "girl"). Silly Czechs and their phonetic language, pronouncing every letter as it's written.

Yet the funniest pronunciation error I have come across occurred this morning. A student was talking about his studies in college, and he said, "When I was studying missionary..." and I paused as I took a double take, and then cut him off and said, "Wait, studying what exactly?" He replied, "Missionary." He continued with his story, not understanding why I felt like Leon Phelps talking to a nun, and then I realized he was saying "Machinery."

Quotes, Devils and Fire

Some great quotes from my students lately:

Asking me about my other students: "Do your other students speaking English good also?"

Talking about holiday gifts: "A new refrigerator is important because cold beer is necessary for life."

Talking about why this one student doesn't make New Year's resolutions: "When I was young, I was conceited. But now, I have no flaws."

This past Monday was St. Nicholas Day. St. Nicholas Day is celebrated as a combination of Halloween and Christmas. The same St. Nick that we know as Santa is honored, but little kids get candy if they've been good (or, depending on the household, if they sing the song they're asked to sing) and either a lump of coal, or a potato, if they haven't (or don't). Instead of the kids going from house to house, parents typically arrange for friends or family to come to the house dressed up as either a saint, a devil, or as St. Nick himself. The visitor(s) generally scare the kids into singing a song or reciting a poem before giving them what they've earned. I wish I had my camera on me, it was pretty hard to walk anywhere around town with out seeing a devil and a saint walking hand-in-hand.

That night, my roommate dragged me to the bar across the street for a late-night drink. As it turned out, I was glad she did. If the devil-and-angel dressing up wasn't enough of a connection with Halloween, as we walked in to the pub, some locals (aided by the sole bartender) were TP'ing the place, with the heaviest concentration of toilet tissue on the ceiling fan, letting it hang down pretty far. The bartender then proceeded to take a swig of the nearest bottle of liquor, and blow a ball of flame onto the (now spinning) fan. It's not often you experience Flying Flaming TP. Again, disappointed to be camera-less.

In any case, Prague has put up its Christmas tree. First blue tree I've ever seen. These pictures don't do it justice, but it's actually pretty cool down in Wenceslas Square. The only poorly-designed part is that it's tough to get a good camera angle on the tree to get a full sense of its size, and capture any part of the square. In any case...

all that jazz

The number of opportunities to hear live music in this city is really staggering. For some shmo's bday the other night we went out for some steak dinner and then meandered through the streets to this tiny jazz club. The club (really, a room) was small enough that the entertainers could (and did) easily interact with the audience. A group of drunk high school girls were dancing pretty oddly to the music, and screaming as if they were at a Beatles concert. Nevertheless, the sax player really enjoyed their hooting and hollering (and why not?) and during one solo, walked over to their dancing and was playing to them. He got pretty passionate about it, and ended up on his knees. Highly entertaining.


The music was pretty good, and it was great to recognize so many covers (Take Five, When The Saints Go Marching In, Georgia on My Mind, Cantaloupe Island, to name a few).

Here's us.


During a lesson last night, a conversation about Communism and bribery - for just about everyone and everything - brought up an interesting Czech saying which outlines the pervasiveness of personal corruption: "If you're not stealing from the government, you're stealing from your family." Basically, everyone is expected to cheat the government and each other. But if you're too moral to do that, you're essentially taking food out of your family's mouths.
But to be perfectly fair, I saw a cop actually refuse a bribe from someone about to be towed. I was pretty shocked. But hey, I guess some things change. Or maybe there were too many people around for him to accept.